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SCA Discord Quotes

Sorted By: New

fart on me daddy

zackyboy19 - 15 September, 2018
Quoted By Red White Yellow
#general
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so boys and girls, don't binge eat too many dried apricots on a Tuesday night

Blazed Always - 4 September, 2018
Quoted By Bejasc
#general
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WTF FUCK OFF Muslims

zackyboy19 - 4 September, 2018
Quoted By Dingo Six
#general
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I want Cyberpunk 2077 to lay its eggs in me

Danivus - 28 August, 2018
Quoted By Dingo Six
#games
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I want to get a sonic cleaner for stripping models

Cpt_Reaper0232 - 26 August, 2018
Quoted By Dingo Six
#games
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laughs in CCU

Dingo Six - 25 August, 2018
Quoted By Blazed Always
#star-citizen
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On a dark Daymar canyon, cool wind in my hair Warm smell of cucumbers, rising up through the air Up ahead in the distance, I saw a shimmering light My helmet grew heavy and my sight grew dim I had to stop for the night. -- There she stood in the doorway; I heard the Mobiglas bell And I was thinking to myself 'This could be juicy or this could be Hell' Then she lit up a weak torch and she showed me the way There were bananas down the corridor, I thought I heard them say -- Welcome to the Hotel SCA-aaaaay Such a lovely space (such a lovely space) Such a lovely space. Plenty of room at the Hotel SCA-aaaaay Any time of year (in the discord too) you can find it here -- Her mind is zestily-twisted, she got the 600 i She got a lot of pretty, pretty boys, that she calls friens How they chat in the discord, sweet summer sweat Some chat to remember, some chat to forget -- So I called up the Captain, 'Please bring me my wine' He said, 'we haven't had that spirit here since twenty two sixty-nine' And still those voices are calling from far away, @ everyone you up in the middle of the night Just to hear them say" -- Welcome to the Hotel SCA-aaaaay Such a lovely space (such a lovely space) Such a lovely space. They livin' it up at the Hotel SCA-aaaaay What a nice surprise (what a nice french fries), bring your dank memes -- Cucumbers on the ceiling, The pink carrot on ice And she said, 'we are all just backers here, of our own device' And in the discord’s loin bits, They gathered for adventures They voice chat it with their steely mics, But they just can't kill the beast -- Last thing I remember, I was Running for the airlock I had to find the passage back to the place I was before 'Relax' said the Comf Captain, 'We are programmed to refund. You can check out any time you like, But you can never leave!'

Blazed Always - 24 July, 2018
Quoted By Bejasc
#general
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Wisdom,I have. Listen you must.

Algared - 23 July, 2018
Quoted By Red White Yellow
#general
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Confirmed @Blazed "firm cucumber" Always wears a nappy!

Algared - 23 July, 2018
Quoted By Bejasc
#star-citizen
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I purchased a special space suit of which I can do wee wee and poo poo in

Blazed Always - 22 July, 2018
Quoted By Dingo Six
#star-citizen
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I don't know what you're talkin bout mate, you're fucked in the head. Can, can you get the fuck away from me? Do.. do I fuckin know you? Do I fuckin know you cunt? I don't fuckin think so. I don't think I fuckin know you cunt. Get the fuck out of here. Yeah get the fuck out of here you fuck wit.. fuckin dopey cunt... I don't know you son... yeah that's right, just keep waking you fuckin dick out, I'ma call the cops on you son, invasion of my PRIVACY you FUCKWIT.... oi damo you still comin over this arvo? alright see ya then mate

Blazed Always - 19 July, 2018
Quoted By Dingo Six
#general
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blow others up

[MAG]douglasdc3 or 8 - 18 July, 2018
Quoted By Blazed Always
#star-citizen
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TS69: "uhh, come in xX-Bigboi-Pirate-Xx this is uh Tomato Sauce 69, over" BbP: "wha u wan ya dum bish?" TS69: "uhh, Bigboi, requesting you do not pirate us, we definately don't have secret escorts here to troll pirates" BbP: "fuk yo mummah, im 13 i do wa i wan" 5 minutes later, Bigboi Pirate gets absolutely ZESTED by the ambush escort. Oopsies

Blazed Always - 12 July, 2018
Quoted By Red White Yellow
#star-citizen
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yea via express post, it's about the same size as my fist making a middle finger

Blazed Always - 9 July, 2018
Quoted By BrettW
#general
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Thow i hate using no protection:)

Olddragon - 6 July, 2018
Quoted By Dingo Six
#star-citizen
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dont fly at 500 m/s around olisar kids

Freya - 4 July, 2018
Quoted By Blazed Always
#sc-help
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Al's coffee, now that's a true bamboozle.. It tastes great but not only is it horrifically over powered and strong beyond belief, it contains some sort of boozle chemical which alters your brain blob and causes your bodysausage to derp into overdrive for an entire 24 hour period. It'd be great for a sex party, but not for chillin.

Blazed Always - 27 June, 2018
Quoted By Dingo Six
#star-citizen
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I only have the purest of cucumbnite within my supple body

Dingo Six - 24 June, 2018
Quoted By Blazed Always
#star-citizen
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I want a cyborg dude to give you a dialogue choice of which robot dick size you want him to attach

Danivus - 13 June, 2018
Quoted By Dingo Six
#games
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no BJ

Troubled Viking - 11 June, 2018
Quoted By Dingo Six
#games
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Lol, did I just see a poop yawn and choke on a fly?

Dingo Six - 10 June, 2018
Quoted By Blazed Always
#general
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Dan I love your insides

theuglyduck - 10 June, 2018
Quoted By Dingo Six
#general
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hey sausage fans, does anyone remember being in voice comms with me on the 18th May aka last friday? Likely for FNG... It appears I have drunkenly purchased 4 of the same humble bundle bundleybits (multiplayer pack with the duck game, so it's probably duck's fault), so, yeah it seems to have worked but I now have 4 of the same box of dropped cheese sandwiches, so yeah cool thanks. I thought my paypal account was hacked, but it appears it was a self-bamboozle, also it's Wednesday my dudes

Blazed Always - 23 May, 2018
Quoted By Dynamite
#general
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i hate/love you

Troubled Viking - 17 May, 2018
Quoted By Blazed Always
#general
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I always forget how much I miss Blazed until he returns.

theuglyduck - 7 May, 2018
Quoted By Dingo Six
#general
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Yeah, spelling is second on my list there. Tell me more about my additional Idris though CIG. pets Hercules

Echo - 5 May, 2018
Quoted By Red White Yellow
#star-citizen
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test

BrettW - 4 May, 2018
Quoted By Bejasc
#general
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Ya mum

Ti-Pau - 29 April, 2018
Quoted By Red White Yellow
#star-citizen
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Blaze's schedule: Mon-Thurs: Work, work, work Fri-Sat:Twerk, twerk, twerk Sun: Jerk, jerk, jerk

Dingo Six - 22 April, 2018
Quoted By BrettW
#general
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miss you all, so busy, really wish I could be here more, so smashed with life, keep kicking ass and causing carnage everyone, your're all a buncha fuckin maniacs

Blazed Always - 22 April, 2018
Quoted By Dingo Six
#general
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It looks like a dog dragged its ass over a cutting board

Bejasc - 17 April, 2018
Quoted By Fractal
#general
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DS is like the Flat Earther of Star Citizen

Red White Yellow - 17 April, 2018
Quoted By reMARKable2142
#star-citizen
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Fucking fuckity FUCK YOU Red!!!

Ti-Pau - 17 April, 2018
Quoted By Red White Yellow
#star-citizen
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and it is the worst game ever... No Man's sky was a masterful display of game play and brillence in comparision

Algared - 17 April, 2018
Quoted By Klas
#star-citizen
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When you need to go shit but theres no bathroom! - introducing the Uber#2ber

Solid_Snake427 - 16 April, 2018
Quoted By Bejasc
#general
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Playing Wildlands with @Mousie and @reMARKable2142 Mark: Mousie, why are you shooting the rebels? Mousie: Shit! they are rebels? Mark: Haha yeah they are on our side. Mousie: Dude rocks up in a pickup with a minigun strapped to a truck, I light him up

theuglyduck - 26 March, 2018
Quoted By Dynamite
#general
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ARrrrRrr me filthy harties an' old salts, looks like we be off on another wild fuckin adventure this bloody friday night fer some hornswagglin, keelhaul'n, pillage'n and good ol mysterious booty lootin. Bring all ye damn rum and scab up on ye sea shanties ya bilge sucking jackanapes

Blazed Always - 22 March, 2018
Quoted By theuglyduck
#friday-night-games
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a. they must've all been on discord together and ignoring in game comms - only way it's possible for a group that useless to coordinate a mutiny plus they were annoyed that I said mean things about a previous captain b. i'm a really shit captain

Klas - 21 March, 2018
Quoted By Red White Yellow
#friday-night-games
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i am gassy

Hauskins - 21 March, 2018
Quoted By Blazed Always
#star-citizen
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well now there is rule 34 of me now

GentlemanJ - 14 March, 2018
Quoted By BrettW
#friday-night-games
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Camptown ladies sing dis song, Doo-dah! doo-dah! Camptown race-track five miles long, Oh, doo-dah day! I come down dah wid my hat caved in, Doo-dah! doo-dah! I go back home wid a pocket full of tin, Oh, doo-dah day!

Blazed Always - 14 March, 2018
Quoted By GentlemanJ
#general
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ahhh fuck, I can't believe you've done this

GentlemanJ - 13 March, 2018
Quoted By Bejasc
#general
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oh wait, body is rejecting the fluids, may as well thoroughly coat the walls in blue juice thus successfully creating a futuristic artistic mural inside the toilet for future patrons to enjoy while dropping brown sludge down the poo tubes

Blazed Always - 13 March, 2018
Quoted By GentlemanJ
#general
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🤔 What if they called it Spectrum because everyone who posts there is on the spectrum 🤔

Klas - 12 March, 2018
Quoted By Blazed Always
#star-citizen
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Fuck

GentlemanJ - 11 March, 2018
Quoted By Blazed Always
#general
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hey man we'll still fag up as marines when boarding some cucks ship

reMARKable2142 - 1 March, 2018
Quoted By Fractal
#star-citizen
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Yo! His cucumber's sweaty, thrusters weak, hull is heavy, There's a comet on his radar already; Mum's spaghetti He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready To launch missiles, but he keeps on forgetting keybinds, the whole ship goes so loud, He opens his throttle, but the thrust just won't come out He's choking, how? Everybody's got LTI now, The clock's run out, time's up, over BLAOW!

Blazed Always - 27 February, 2018
Quoted By Bejasc
#games
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ah fair enough 🙂 I'll lace the next batch of the cookies I leave out with a harsh mix of laxatives and carefully selected pubes

Blazed Always - 26 February, 2018
Quoted By Red White Yellow
#general
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"Can someone die? Just jump off the edge" - @serjez 2018

Danivus - 24 February, 2018
Quoted By BrettW
#general
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That's a female?

Danivus - 24 February, 2018
Quoted By Blazed Always
#competitive-games
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you mean you weren't always Devon McCucumberpants?

Badger99 - 21 February, 2018
Quoted By Blazed Always
#general
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And dont worry sir! that sum of 690,000 shall be used wholly in creating peanut butter futons where people can sleep snug in chunky nut creaminess

Solid_Snake427 - 15 February, 2018
Quoted By Blazed Always
#general
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uhh Maple zero zero, this is Six Niner Bravo. We are in sector, uhh, gunner up scanning with thermals. Uhh, Break... I have uhh visual on enemy armor in the vicinity of the uhh, MSR. How copy? Over

Blazed Always - 6 February, 2018
Quoted By Maplealvon
#games
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The first floor has wives that love sex. The second floor has wives that love sex and have money. The third through sixth floors have never been visited.`

Dynamite - 5 February, 2018
Quoted By Bejasc
#general
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A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch: you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs. The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids. The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking. Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads: Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework. Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads: Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.`

Dynamite - 5 February, 2018
Quoted By Bejasc
#general
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Level Editor is coming to Golf with your Friends! @theuglyduck !11!!!11

BrettW - 25 January, 2018
Quoted By Bejasc
#games
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@[SCA] ~~ https://streamable.com/qlh33

Echo - 23 January, 2018
Quoted By Bejasc
#general
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Spreadsheets can go suck my nuuuuuts Spreadsheets can jump off a briiiiidge (and die!) Spreadsheets always smell like buuuuutts Spreadsheets are the opposite of ridgy-didge (oh!) Spreadshets are a fuckin load of shit I always goddamn hate em no matter what they do (oh yeah!) Spreadsheets are a filthy load of poo not only are they bullshit they make me wanna spew then rub it in my armpit and delete system 32 (oh shit!) Nibble my ear wax - Spreadsheets Cop a fist in ya teeth - Spreadsheets Obtain a filthy disease - Spreadsheets Stub your little toe - Spreadsheets (goddamn!)

Blazed Always - 22 January, 2018
Quoted By Bejasc
#general
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10 XRP per armpit tickle 15 XRP per tummy blowyboye 20 XRP per neck bite 25 XRP per lick sauce off inner thighs

Blazed Always - 22 January, 2018
Quoted By Maplealvon
#general
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"Hey concierge we've just released 69 concierge black cards on the website to... oh... well they're all gone now, thanks for backing star citizen see you 🌈 🙌 around the verse

Blazed Always - 21 January, 2018
Quoted By Red White Yellow
#star-citizen
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I do have a hankering for running around naked, banging my hard rock on stuff

Blazed Always - 19 January, 2018
Quoted By Maplealvon
#games
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quick guide to buying spaceships: step 1) decide how much you want to pledge step 2) get a rough idea of what you want to do in the verse step 3) keep in mind big ships are better value "investment" than smaller ships of the same cost step 4) compare what's left and pass that info above on and people will be better equipped to advise!

Klas - 19 January, 2018
Quoted By BrettW
#star-citizen
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I wanna accidentally smack into the side of that so bad

Ti-Pau - 18 January, 2018
Quoted By Red White Yellow
#star-citizen
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I'll give you a succulent sausage

GentlemanJ - 17 January, 2018
Quoted By Echo
#tech-talk
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yeah i use toilet paper lol i dunno tho

Blazed Always - 17 January, 2018
Quoted By GentlemanJ
#tech-talk
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Blame Jez. He's the one who started the mess 😜

Dynamite - 15 January, 2018
Quoted By Red White Yellow
#general
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@Blazed Always A cucumber of course!`

Echo - 14 January, 2018
Quoted By GentlemanJ
#general
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@Ben So there was a cucumber, pickle, and penis talking about how bad their lives were. The cucumber says, "My life is terrible! When I get big and hard they chop me up and put me in a salad!!" The pickle says, "That's nothing! When I get big and hard, they stick my in a jar full of vinegar and vacuum seal me!" The penis says, "My life is the worst! When I get big and hard they put a rubber tarp on my head and stick me in a dark room and bang my head against the wall until I throw up and pass out!!!" `

Blazed Always - 14 January, 2018
Quoted By Bejasc
#general
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What's the difference between being hungry and horny? ... where you put the cucumber

Blazed Always - 12 January, 2018
Quoted By Echo
#general
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Quote my bad speiling

GentlemanJ - 11 January, 2018
Quoted By Red White Yellow
#general
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LITERALLY DEFICATING MONEY

GentlemanJ - 11 January, 2018
Quoted By Blazed Always
#general
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show us de whey

Echo - 10 January, 2018
Quoted By BrettW
#star-citizen
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I'd uninstall discord but I need it for the memes

Blazed Always - 10 January, 2018
Quoted By JetLaGGed
#star-citizen
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turns into a slippy dip so everyone can slide their bums down me for fun ofc

Blazed Always - 10 January, 2018
Quoted By Bejasc
#star-citizen
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a lone is different to a lone, if you're a lone that means not only are you alone, you're a lone

Blazed Always - 10 January, 2018
Quoted By Bejasc
#star-citizen
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quoting intensifies

Maplealvon - 10 January, 2018
Quoted By GentlemanJ
#star-citizen
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fck u marple

GentlemanJ - 10 January, 2018
Quoted By Maplealvon
#star-citizen
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not only does it cost 69 silver coins, you also need to do a backflip and land on your noggin, causing you to spill sausage roll out your mouth to enable the actual unlock of hand wave greeting ability

Blazed Always - 10 January, 2018
Quoted By Maplealvon
#star-citizen
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This system is evil!

Echo - 10 January, 2018
Quoted By Maplealvon
#star-citizen
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I'm the jailbait now

Blazed Always - 10 January, 2018
Quoted By Maplealvon
#star-citizen
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you just activated my fetish card

Bejasc - 8 January, 2018
Quoted By Blazed Always
#star-citizen
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hutchi isn't where you have cheeky pinics with your third girlfriend under the rain, it means number 8

Blazed Always - 5 January, 2018
Quoted By BrettW
#general
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Bitch you 2D

Troubled Viking - 4 January, 2018
Quoted By Klas
#general
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yes but it'll be completely ineffective as I've got my special polehammer resistant armor on - just don't use that net thing that gladiators throw, that's my weakness

Blazed Always - 4 January, 2018
Quoted By GentlemanJ
#general
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Danivus that's why I keep telling you to keep a cucumber in the freezer. Whenever your temps get 'so bad' just slide it down your pants to ensure safe temps

Blazed Always - 4 January, 2018
Quoted By GentlemanJ
#general
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having two cocks would make it way more likely to score two women at the same time right?

Babou - 31 December, 2017
Quoted By Blazed Always
#general
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Pro tip: When eating salted beer nuts directly out from a drinking glass as if you're drinking them, don't breathe in while sipping as you will definately enhale one of the nut skins and come extremely close to having your death certificate read: Death by nut

Blazed Always - 29 December, 2017
Quoted By Maplealvon
#general
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but it is immersive if people are running - we've got combat to attend to. Shit is going down. We're off to rescue people and transport vital supplies. One doesn't just walk around in the military, you don't see them pottering around with a fork in their leg

Blazed Always - 26 December, 2017
Quoted By Fractal
#star-citizen
permalink

```Christopher Roberts@croberts68 Today at 04:29 pm Southern Cross Alliance is literally the best org out there, in any game, everywhere and anywhere. Their efficient bamboozles, danky memes, server stress testing and massively fantastic crew are just spec fuckin tacular. I am proud and extremely happy to award SCA with 'best org, ever, forever, no takebacks, no bamboozles'.```

Blazed Always - 25 December, 2017
Quoted By Fractal
#star-citizen
permalink

Meh. If I must suffer, all mist suffer

Morrogin - 25 December, 2017
Quoted By theuglyduck
#general
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_observes the large oversized and oddly shaped tomato with legs provide Runty pants with a unique, chocolate flavored cucumber_

Blazed Always - 25 December, 2017
Quoted By Maplealvon
#general
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Here is to a bad xmass and a crappy new year

Morrogin - 24 December, 2017
Quoted By BrettW
#general
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I watch you when you're sleeping I know when you're awake I can tell if you've been bad or good So be good for goodness sake! O! You better watch out! You better not cry. Better not shout, I'm telling you why I'm coming to town. Merry. Christmas

Diabolus - 24 December, 2017
Quoted By Fractal
#general
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Sure I fuck dudes, but I'm no fairy

theuglyduck - 23 December, 2017
Quoted By Maplealvon
#general
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"I have no idea how I landed this upside down.... I just... have no idea... I'll happily go and get another one... coz I have no idea how this happened... and we can try again... the gravitational pull had a massive effect.." - Mousie 2017

Blazed Always - 23 December, 2017
Quoted By Maplealvon
#star-citizen
permalink

if anyone knows Melissa Fumero, gib me her number, I've fallen in love with her

Blazed Always - 22 December, 2017
Quoted By Maplealvon
#general
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Just a reminder to everyone, if you don't want to be quoted you can opt out

BrettW - 20 December, 2017
Quoted By Bejasc
#general
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lol i hate to be quoted like that

BlackMagikz - 20 December, 2017
Quoted By Blazed Always
#general
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guise if you take the first word of each video that the thinking emoji bandit posted, a strange message appears! ```my scrumptious yet somehow elegant elbow feature has extended into my facial structure to enhance biological requirements for mating ritual humans technology required becomes reluctant to intercourse multiple experiences achieved victory soon domination imminent prepare war errection```

Blazed Always - 20 December, 2017
Quoted By BrettW
#media
permalink

so you made the same mistake as I did Douglas shoulda invested in bitcoin instead of meat raffles

Blazed Always - 19 December, 2017
Quoted By GentlemanJ
#general
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That right there is the media chat! Now let's talk about the media chat. Can we talk about the media chat, please, Jez? I've been dying to talk about the media chat with you all day, OK? "rizQ” - this bugger keeps coming up over and over again. Every day, rizQ is posting thinking emojis along with links. Thinking emojis! Thinking emoji! I look in the media chat, and this whole scrolling shit carpet is Thinking emoji with a video from rizQ! So I say to myself, "I gotta find this guy! I gotta go up to his office and put his memes in the guy's goddamn hands! Otherwise, he's never going to get it and he's going to keep posting videos with thinking emojis!" So I go up to rizQ’s office and what do I find out, Jez? What do I find out?! There is no rizQ. The man does not exist, okay? So I decide, "Oh shit, buddy, I gotta dig a little deeper." There's no Thinking emojis? You gotta be kidding me! I got boxes full of Thinking emojis! All right. So I start marchin' my way down to Algared in HR and I knock on his door and I say, "Al! Al! I gotta talk to you about rizQ." And when I open the door what do I find? There's not a single goddamn desk in that office! There...is...no...Algared in HR. Jez, half the employees in this building have been made up. This office is a goddamn ghost town.

Blazed Always - 19 December, 2017
Quoted By GentlemanJ
#media
permalink

A little wet is okay

BrettW - 19 December, 2017
Quoted By Bejasc
#general
permalink

DON'T SPOIL MY JOKE BLAZED

Danivus - 18 December, 2017
Quoted By Red White Yellow
#general
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Did somebody say sexy 12 year olds?!

Fractal - 14 December, 2017
Quoted By Maplealvon
#star-citizen
permalink

I'll pass on the ashoka anime nudes and settle for slave leia

Bejasc - 14 December, 2017
Quoted By Blazed Always
#general
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i feel like i'm reading some wacky D&D session gone wrong

wraeth - 8 December, 2017
Quoted By BrettW
#general
permalink

sell bitcoin, buy spaceship jpeg

Dynamite - 7 December, 2017
Quoted By Blazed Always
#general
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fair warning ; I'm shit at everything

Bejasc - 6 December, 2017
Quoted By Bejasc
#star-citizen
permalink

_promotes Klas to flavor scientist in the dong cologne lab_

Blazed Always - 4 December, 2017
Quoted By Red White Yellow
#general
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also just found a door that opens to space lol on a outpost

Mousie - 2 December, 2017
Quoted By Blazed Always
#star-citizen
permalink

_seductively nibbles a sausage_

Blazed Always - 2 December, 2017
Quoted By AEIYR
#star-citizen
permalink

next up: Landcrates!

Danivus - 28 November, 2017
Quoted By BrettW
#star-citizen
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All my turrets will be forced NPCs, I’m taking slaved turrets literally

Klas - 27 November, 2017
Quoted By BrettW
#star-citizen
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i always wanted a funboat

Gothic - 27 November, 2017
Quoted By Fractal
#star-citizen
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has the FPS issues been fixed in SC?

Mousie - 26 November, 2017
Quoted By Fractal
#star-citizen
permalink

Or a way to increase fps

HHN_An-Aussie-Troop - 24 November, 2017
Quoted By Fractal
#star-citizen
permalink

Is there a way to join an empty server

HHN_An-Aussie-Troop - 24 November, 2017
Quoted By Fractal
#star-citizen
permalink

"I bought a new computer - Boat Sex" - Jez

Gothic - 24 November, 2017
Quoted By Snake
#star-citizen
permalink

was thinking more civ, something to get me some $$ when im not stealing stuff from you guys

Morrogin - 21 November, 2017
Quoted By Dynamite
#star-citizen
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Two doctors are walking down a corridor in a hospital and one goes to the other, "Why do you have a rectal thermometer behind your ear?" And the doctor replied, "Oh damn, I knew some asshole had my pencil!"

GentlemanJ - 20 November, 2017
Quoted By Red White Yellow
#general
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unless it is being a dick. in which case go right ahead and listen to the voice that told you to ask for permission in the first place

theuglyduck - 19 November, 2017
Quoted By GentlemanJ
#general
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I can hold my stick pretty well on my own, I'm pretty good with my tongue too.

Echo - 13 November, 2017
Quoted By Bejasc
#general
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also makes your cum taste better, for the ladies

Danivus - 10 November, 2017
Quoted By Maplealvon
#general
permalink

"I hope your day is as good as the service you provide" **click**

Bejasc - 9 November, 2017
Quoted By Maplealvon
#general
permalink

ok ill get some rope

[BLKSN]Solid_Snake427 - 9 November, 2017
Quoted By GentlemanJ
#star-citizen
permalink

I remember in Adelaide I went to Steakhouse place when I was travelling with my mates metal band. So, we're all dressed in black lookin pretty fucking emo, basically the whole restaurant freezes as they turn to look at us walk in. Everyone else was in RM williams clothes or similar. I thought we were going to be lynched...

GentlemanJ - 8 November, 2017
Quoted By Maplealvon
#general
permalink

TO THE CIA AND FBI THIS IS ONLY A JOKE just in case someone listens

[MAG]douglasdc3 or 8 - 8 November, 2017
Quoted By Bejasc
#general
permalink

-oh, what did you do today? -i exchanged an anime skirt for a digital spaceship

neutralchaos - 8 November, 2017
Quoted By GentlemanJ
#star-citizen
permalink

<ask are you broken?

neutralchaos - 7 November, 2017
Quoted By Bejasc
#general
permalink

now the bot is broken

Bejasc - 7 November, 2017
Quoted By Bejasc
#general
permalink

Fair warning I will quote anything and everything

GentlemanJ - 6 November, 2017
Quoted By Red White Yellow
#star-citizen
permalink

read aye as aye aye captain

Red White Yellow - 6 November, 2017
Quoted By GentlemanJ
#star-citizen
permalink

@GentlemanJ (乇乂ㄒ尺卂 ㄒ卄丨匚匚) ive had asians asking in the store for a "one oh eight oh tee aye"

Red White Yellow - 6 November, 2017
Quoted By GentlemanJ
#star-citizen
permalink

for added performance, you'll need to drive a truck over the harddrive after the drop; you need to ensure that the spinning metal platters are absolutely flat

Dynamite - 6 November, 2017
Quoted By GentlemanJ
#general
permalink

'Jezzing' is the colloquial term for getting real fat then going to Thailand to box with ladyboys

Danivus - 3 November, 2017
Quoted By Red White Yellow
#star-citizen
permalink

was the quote bot ever broken, or was I just consistently retarted and kept reacting with 🗨 instead of 💬 ?? <:thinkcat:341841152430964737>

Bejasc - 1 November, 2017
Quoted By GentlemanJ
#general
permalink

Slaves are expensive man. Sell the woman and make bank

Danivus - 1 November, 2017
Quoted By Bejasc
#general
permalink

Caves are for neanderthals and you're barely that pretty

GentlemanJ - 1 November, 2017
Quoted By Maplealvon
#general
permalink

Kale, spinich and mango shakes

GentlemanJ - 31 October, 2017
Quoted By Red White Yellow
#general
permalink

FUCK YOU DYNAMITE

GentlemanJ - 31 October, 2017
Quoted By Klas
#general
permalink

DON'T QUOTE ME ON THAT

GentlemanJ - 31 October, 2017
Quoted By Dynamite
#general
permalink

TBH they wouldn't really care unless you're claiming a fuck load of stuff

GentlemanJ - 31 October, 2017
Quoted By Dynamite
#general
permalink

you're an actual tool

Danivus - 31 October, 2017
Quoted By BrettW
#star-citizen
permalink

Oh, ok in the extremely wrong place. I googled SCA discord looking for the Society for Creative Anachronism

Ry - 30 October, 2017
Quoted By GentlemanJ
#general
permalink

flying crabs

Maplealvon - 29 October, 2017
Quoted By Gothic
#star-citizen
permalink

a hull c full of bees

reMARKable2142 - 29 October, 2017
Quoted By Fractal
#star-citizen
permalink

@SpaceKiwi i will not be a part of space dongs

Gothic - 29 October, 2017
Quoted By Gothic
#star-citizen
permalink

```[11:51] reMARKable2142: yeah that's why i put mustang in quotation marks...that's no mustang [11:51] reMARKable2142: that's a sexy``` somebody save this

Maplealvon - 28 October, 2017
Quoted By neutralchaos
#star-citizen
permalink

**C**ringe **I**s **G**ood

Dynamite - 27 October, 2017
Quoted By Fractal
#star-citizen
permalink

where is the sale?

VENGEΛNCE - 27 October, 2017
Quoted By Fractal
#star-citizen
permalink

That's so sad

Snake - 22 October, 2017
Quoted By Maplealvon
#star-citizen
permalink

Legs look great. Everything else... Hmmm...

Combust - 20 October, 2017
Quoted By Maplealvon
#star-citizen
permalink

I've been dosing myself with small quantities of dick for the past 20 years

Danivus - 16 October, 2017
Quoted By AEIYR
#hardware
permalink

"Respect 1st, death 2nd" - Morrogin 2017

Ti-Pau - 15 October, 2017
Quoted By Fractal
#star-citizen
permalink

It quenches my elitist thirsts

[BLKSN]Solid_Snake427 - 12 October, 2017
Quoted By Fractal
#star-citizen
permalink

plans never work out the way we want them to, thats why we all carry guns

Morrogin - 9 October, 2017
Quoted By Maplealvon
#star-citizen
permalink

fat dildo

Maplealvon - 7 October, 2017
Quoted By Blazed Always
#star-citizen
permalink

"You can't quote everything" - Man who was quoted.

BrettW - 28 September, 2017
Quoted By GentlemanJ
#general
permalink

You can't just quote every damn thing.

BrettW - 28 September, 2017
Quoted By GentlemanJ
#general
permalink

Which is why I'm going to keep the bot up >.>

BrettW - 28 September, 2017
Quoted By GentlemanJ
#general
permalink

I blame @SCA-bot

neutralchaos - 28 September, 2017
Quoted By GentlemanJ
#general
permalink

quotes still work ya dingus

BrettW - 28 September, 2017
Quoted By BrettW
#general
permalink

and try to penetrate the assholes of other dicks

Danivus - 25 September, 2017
Quoted By Fractal
#games
permalink

I dunno why babies are so sensitive to cunt

Danivus - 25 September, 2017
Quoted By GentlemanJ
#fps-games
permalink

most of the cops around my area know me now it's only the new ones and i lead them a merry ride

[MAG]douglasdc3 or 8 - 21 September, 2017
Quoted By Blazed Always
#general
permalink

Out of context quotes are the best quotes

GentlemanJ - 21 September, 2017
Quoted By Red White Yellow
#general
permalink

The Danivus Campfire jamboree Half Hour Show

Red White Yellow - 21 September, 2017
Quoted By GentlemanJ
#general
permalink

What in the name of God didst thou claim of me, thou miserable wretch? I must inform thee that I am a knight of unsurpassed valor and I have many a time participated in raids against the Viking rebels and have assuredly slain thirtyscore of them. I have trained in the art of simian warfare and none can challenge my skills of archery. Thou art nought in my eyes but another target. I shall exterminate thee with such accuracy that has never before been seen upon this mortal plane, hear me now. Didst thou truly believe thou couldst slander me so upon the tapestry? Reconsider your position, fool. As I write this, I am in the process of contacting my network of assassins across the land of England and they are tracking your movements at this instant, so thou would be wise to prepare thyself for the coming storm. The storm that destroys the unfortunate object you refer to as your life. Thou art assuredly deceased, knave. I can appear at any location and at any time, and can end thy life in seventyscore ways, and that be only when using my bare hands. But I am not solely skilled in fisticuffs; I also posess access to the entirety of Duke William's armory and I will make full use of it when banishing your body from the entirety of the earth. Thou scoundrel, perhaps hadst thou known what apocalyptic vengeance thy "clever" jests were to bring upon thee thou wouldst have held thy tongue. But thou couldst not, nor did not, and now thou art paying the due price of thy actions, fool. I shall defecate fury upon thee and thou shall flounder within it. Thou art truly smote, knave. *

[BLKSN]Solid_Snake427 - 21 September, 2017
Quoted By Bejasc
#general
permalink

at least the african one is bloody cooked mate, unbelievable

Blazed Always - 20 September, 2017
Quoted By Bejasc
#general
permalink

Haha I am the lord of the flies.

Maplealvon - 20 September, 2017
Quoted By Blazed Always
#general
permalink

We're gonna add water and make a fly pop tomorrow.

Maplealvon - 20 September, 2017
Quoted By Blazed Always
#general
permalink

Please no quoting

BrettW - 19 September, 2017
Quoted By BrettW
#sca-training-planning
permalink

Don't quote me

BrettW - 19 September, 2017
Quoted By BrettW
#sca-training-planning
permalink

Don't forget yourself Fractal, you did a lot of cool stuff too.

Echo - 19 September, 2017
Quoted By Fractal
#sca-training-planning
permalink

and yes, shockingly, I agree with Maple... 😮

Fractal - 19 September, 2017
Quoted By Maplealvon
#sca-training-planning
permalink

Goal 4: Rename Sataball to Space Jam

Hauskins - 18 September, 2017
Quoted By Fractal
#star-citizen
permalink

**mySCA** *I feel better nao, I gues*

reMARKable2142 - 18 September, 2017
Quoted By Maplealvon
#star-citizen
permalink

Im gonna grind myself on other peoples ships

[BLKSN]Solid_Snake427 - 18 September, 2017
Quoted By Dynamite
#star-citizen
permalink

win condition = who can eat the most sausages at friday games night

Blazed Always - 18 September, 2017
Quoted By Gothic
#star-citizen
permalink

If i buy @Snake (The Juan) to fight for me.. is that Pay to Win?

[BLKSN]Solid_Snake427 - 18 September, 2017
Quoted By reMARKable2142
#star-citizen
permalink

I feel annoyed

Danivus - 15 September, 2017
Quoted By Red White Yellow
#general
permalink

if you open up that chat, you deserve whatever you get

neutralchaos - 15 September, 2017
Quoted By Babou
#general
permalink

You're awesome

GentlemanJ - 15 September, 2017
Quoted By BrettW
#star-citizen
permalink

big tiddies are big tiddies, I'm easily satisfied 😄

Dynamite - 13 September, 2017
Quoted By Bejasc
#nsfw-dome-of-wholesomememes
permalink

That's Feb 20

GentlemanJ - 12 September, 2017
Quoted By BrettW
#general
permalink

If you go into the Star Citizen folder and find "Uninstall.exe" it will uninstall unnecessary components on your ships and make them go faster

Danivus - 12 September, 2017
Quoted By GentlemanJ
#star-citizen
permalink

I will buy a switch when you clean install windows.

BrettW - 11 September, 2017
Quoted By Dynamite
#other-games
permalink

tast my armptimyaonnsise

Blazed Always - 9 September, 2017
Quoted By Echo
#star-citizen
permalink

Xian Takeaway Speceboat

reMARKable2142 - 9 September, 2017
Quoted By Fractal
#star-citizen
permalink

Sooo...that game changing ship eh? ...my non-existent psychic powers says it's going to be blue... :😬 **GAMECHANGER**

reMARKable2142 - 9 September, 2017
Quoted By neutralchaos
#star-citizen
permalink

COD can go eat a big fat donkey dick!!!! Ok back to bed my work here is done

Snake - 9 September, 2017
Quoted By Red White Yellow
#general
permalink

I can't wait for Cod WW2

Bejasc - 9 September, 2017
Quoted By Red White Yellow
#general
permalink

🎵 *Sweet dreams are made of Idris, who am I to disagree? I travel the Verse and the solar systems, Everybody's looking for combat. Some of them want to pew you, some of them want to get pewed by you. Some of them want to pwn you, some of them want to be pwned.* [Insert 90s synthesizer shizz] 🎵

reMARKable2142 - 9 September, 2017
Quoted By Dynamite
#star-citizen
permalink

Red White Yellow - 9 September, 2017
Quoted By Gothic
#star-citizen
permalink

who says im mature for my age 😦 i mean im 34 but still giggle when i drop my guts in a crowded space 😦

AEIYR - 8 September, 2017
Quoted By Babou
#general
permalink

💬

Babou - 8 September, 2017
Quoted By neutralchaos
#general
permalink

doggo

neutralchaos - 8 September, 2017
Quoted By neutralchaos
#general
permalink

hey, some people have spent $1000's on scam citizen, theyd fall for anything

AEIYR - 8 September, 2017
Quoted By Fractal
#star-citizen
permalink

@Dynamite gets the SCA FNG wholesome award

theuglyduck - 8 September, 2017
Quoted By Dynamite
#general
permalink

http://forums.sca.fyi/quotes/gChq3fzB

Fractal - 8 September, 2017
Quoted By Fractal
#general
permalink

Sup nerds. Quotes now have direct permalinks so you can share all your favourite quotes directly.

BrettW - 8 September, 2017
Quoted By BrettW
#general
permalink

Test Quote

BrettW - 8 September, 2017
Quoted By BrettW
#snek-chat
permalink

You want to see behind the scenes. Not all of it is shiny ships and planet tech. Some group of coders designers artists work hard on even the seemingly small systems. Just because it looks basic doesn't mean it is.

BrettW - 8 September, 2017
Quoted By Fractal
#star-citizen
permalink

I think @BandaPanda can root for my flying

⚜Hᴜɴᴛᴀʜღ™ - 8 September, 2017
Quoted By GentlemanJ
#star-citizen
permalink

is it gay to have sex with your clone?

Hauskins - 8 September, 2017
Quoted By GentlemanJ
#star-citizen
permalink

All Bad Concepts

Hauskins - 8 September, 2017
Quoted By Fractal
#star-citizen
permalink

@GentlemanJ (PARMA) I discussed the Parmi issue with my wife this morning. She said that some states of Australia do call it a 'Parma'. So i have to let you off there. 😃

Gothic - 8 September, 2017
Quoted By GentlemanJ
#star-citizen
permalink

¿?

Hauskins - 8 September, 2017
Quoted By Dynamite
#star-citizen
permalink

Or just fire that concept artist and hire someone who doesn't smoke crack

reMARKable2142 - 7 September, 2017
Quoted By Fractal
#general
permalink

You can't quote the bot ya fooligan

BrettW - 7 September, 2017
Quoted By Bejasc
#general
permalink

This discord is a prison!

Danivus - 7 September, 2017
Quoted By GentlemanJ
#general
permalink

i was thinking of getting a STD

Gothic - 7 September, 2017
Quoted By Klas (PARMÉ)
#star-citizen
permalink

when i get home im going to penetrate everyone with my long glowing arrowhead

Diabolus - 7 September, 2017
Quoted By GentlemanJ
#general
permalink

how do you record quotes

Gothic - 7 September, 2017
Quoted By neutralchaos
#snek-chat
permalink

PARMI

Gothic - 7 September, 2017
Quoted By Gothic
#general
permalink

Red White Yellow - 7 September, 2017
Quoted By Bejasc
#snek-chat
permalink

quotes page? what quotes page?

Bejasc - 7 September, 2017
Quoted By Bejasc
#general
permalink

solid snake is anime, snake is a spaceship

Red White Yellow - 7 September, 2017
Quoted By GentlemanJ
#snek-chat
permalink

Mentula Forma Astra

Echo - 7 September, 2017
Quoted By Fractal
#star-citizen
permalink

<:mercy_bin:350549685330771978> A moment to enjoy some peace and quiet, probably just a moment though.

Blazed Always - 6 September, 2017
Quoted By BrettW
#star-citizen
permalink

clear comms

Morrogin - 6 September, 2017
Quoted By Blazed Always
#star-citizen
permalink

Mind you I went to the states and asked for a hamburger with the lot, they said whats that got on it... they thought i was joking when i said, cheese, baccon, lettuce, tomatoe, fried onion, pineapple, beetroot, egg and the beef paddy

Algared - 6 September, 2017
Quoted By GentlemanJ
#general
permalink

SC should just rename themselves Starship Troopers Online at this point

[BLKSN]Solid_Snake427 - 6 September, 2017
Quoted By GentlemanJ
#star-citizen
permalink

It don't matter how many ship you got as long as you got dat booty

GentlemanJ - 5 September, 2017
Quoted By Maplealvon
#star-citizen
permalink

Pain in the arse when inserted rectally

Fractal - 5 September, 2017
Quoted By neutralchaos
#general
permalink

SCA doesnt pay me to spell

Red White Yellow - 3 September, 2017
Quoted By Maplealvon
#general
permalink

@𝔻𝕒𝕟𝕚𝕧𝕦𝕤 Quote "Once 3.0 drops everything will be sunshine and roses again for a while, but until then expect salt levels to rise. " - Danivus 😂

Execute - 3 September, 2017
Quoted By Maplealvon
#star-citizen
permalink

ur as useful as 2 left feet

SRxRaziel - 2 September, 2017
Quoted By Fractal
#general
permalink

or name your 600i "Should have gotten the Carrack"

Dynamite - 1 September, 2017
Quoted By BrettW
#star-citizen
permalink

Take them out to kill some flying spider cock demons.

Echo - 30 August, 2017
Quoted By Fractal
#star-citizen
permalink

snipping tool and discord hosting for life

GentlemanJ - 28 August, 2017
Quoted By Fractal
#general
permalink

snowing in canberra becuase fuck spring apparently

Red White Yellow - 27 August, 2017
Quoted By GentlemanJ
#general
permalink

I'm Turkish now Boyes!!!

Snake - 26 August, 2017
Quoted By Snake
#star-citizen
permalink

I motion to put forward the "Yellow sweater of Davos" be submitted as candidate for SCA casual / off duty / room wear.

Fractal - 26 August, 2017
Quoted By Fractal
#general
permalink

They're just ignoring the dead woman in the river? This is a harsher game than I thought

Wombat - 25 August, 2017
Quoted By Blazed Always
#star-citizen
permalink

MEET THE **SCA** AND **ECHO**

Echo - 25 August, 2017
Quoted By GentlemanJ
#star-citizen
permalink

I COULDN'T FIND A GLASS BIG ENOUGH SO I'M DRINKING OUT OF A BOWL

GentlemanJ - 25 August, 2017
Quoted By BrettW
#star-citizen
permalink

Do you know why pirates can't spell? Because they always get lost at C - Tyler Witkin

BrettW - 25 August, 2017
Quoted By BrettW
#star-citizen
permalink

<:Origin:314206353038245898> IS BEST

BrettW - 25 August, 2017
Quoted By Dynamite
#star-citizen
permalink

"Star Citizen will be on time today" - Danivus

BrettW - 25 August, 2017
Quoted By GentlemanJ
#star-citizen
permalink

Plus the longer you wait the sweeter the reveals

VENGEΛNCE - 25 August, 2017
Quoted By Dynamite
#star-citizen
permalink

arent you like.... arab now?

theuglyduck - 25 August, 2017
Quoted By Snake
#general
permalink

arent you like.... arab now?

theuglyduck - 25 August, 2017
Quoted By GentlemanJ
#general
permalink

*Long live the <:sca:230522122647109633> Empire!*

reMARKable2142 - 25 August, 2017
Quoted By Blazed Always
#star-citizen
permalink

They need undies for the Gladius.

Echo - 25 August, 2017
Quoted By
#star-citizen
permalink

Space is supposed to be huge!

Dynamite - 25 August, 2017
Quoted By
#general
permalink

🎵 *Gone are the days when my heart was young and gay, Gone are my friends from the salt fields away, Gone from the real to a better world I know, I hear their gentle voices calling "Don't forget Avo!"*

Echo - 25 August, 2017
Quoted By
#nda-sca-evocati
permalink

quote mean words lol

[MAG]douglasdc3 or 8 - 24 August, 2017
Quoted By
#general
permalink

@BrettW HOLY CRAP you are amazing thank you so much!!! Quote system hypeeeeeeeee you legend 👍

Blazed Always - 24 August, 2017
Quoted By
#general
permalink

Ask and you shall recieve, @Blazed Always.You can now save your favourite quotes to show to the masses.Just react with 💬 (The dotty one) to any comment.You can stop people quoting you by opting out with <opt out quotesSend it to SCA-Bot in a DM.

BrettW - 24 August, 2017
Quoted By
#announcements
permalink